It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.
Bucket Jokes
I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!
Jack and Jill went up the hill, had some fun, now they have 4 babies.
Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.
The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."
The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.
The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.
The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.
What's the best way to find the Twin Towers?
Bucket.
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
What is red and shaped like a bucket?
A red bucket.
How do you get ten babies in a bucket?
With a blender.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!
Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!
Will: Yey!
Beverly: What should we bring him?
Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.
There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.
A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.
