Newest Boyfriend Jokes - Page 4

My bff asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?" I said: "Why?" My bff says: "Well its because he was already cheating." I said: "KNEW IT!"

But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend. So she invites him to a romantic dinner. After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it. But her boyfriend was clueless about such acts. So she tell him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 positions. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same. But the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly the girl had an urge to fart, but hold it in because her asshole was right near his bf face. Suddenly she loses control, and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says

"Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."

My boyfriend dumped me guess who came back crawling for his zimmer frame.....

Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone

Ex Boyfriend: how and why?

Girlfriend: Because your about to die

guess the joke

your girlfriend

EVERYONE:

My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?

The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: you’re the bomb! The explosive dude says: wow that was Whitty

What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls? “I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”

I have a girlfriend.

The person I hate. Omg my mom and dad just died. Me. Omg I am so sorry dount worry. The person I hate. I have a boyfriend. Me well I have a mom and dad. The person I hate. Rood. Me. Shut up.

My crush: OMG my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭

Me: Oh my goodness I am so sorry I am here for you!

My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄

Me: Yeah well I have a dog

Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter".

Father : "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later

Son : "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"

Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."

Father : "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."

This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying.

Son : "Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because daddy is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your Father."!!!

or I dont know!

prince / lord tallie Leave Gwen alone for once! by the way you are an idiot!

Gwen The prince! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE TOTALLY DEAD AND SO I STARTED DATING TANNER! But don't worry, I'll break up with him immediately!

prince / lord tallie Oh don't worry, I love it! By the way, can't we do our late night talk? My wyfi comes out just before we can! I love you even more! 😘

Gwen Oh thanks! I thought you would hate me! And yes, we don't have to chat at night, but the days are going to be choppy. I love you!

Gwen Bo to boring jokes

Tanner Fuck off

Kenya Bailey Excuse me?

Gwen Tanner, it was all my fault, I shouldn't have tried to date you so fast and did you see the talk about the boring jokes?

Zre Who the hell is tanner?

Ha Wait a second, he's your boyfriend!

Kenya Bailey Okay guys, let's not get into your business, okay! Let's see funny jokes

ha Yes you're right

Zre Ok

Zre Still, who the hell is Tanner! But hey, this your toddler's toy! Even though i thought i was prince

Gwen I thought Prince was dead so I started dating Tanner, then I realized Prince was alive.

jack and jill went up a hill so jill could lik jacks candystik but jill got a suprise wen she saw her borfiend rik he got so angre jack has no candestik no more jill went home whith a black i and rik got arested for cuting jacks candystik

1st graders: ay yo girl I think you’re beautiful let’s get married!! 2nd graders: uhh don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee. 3rd graders: uh my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up sweetie. 4th graders: hey I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind....... 5th graders(they start wearing makeup): ay girl your eyelashes are pretty I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr. 6th graders: heyyyyy I gotta tell you a secret I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh I’ll text you later! 7th graders: we need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy alright bye now 8th graders: hi sweetheart I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....

One time my boyfriend and i where playing the tickle game and i tickle him on his thighs by accident and i said oh no i am died. Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina and then i moaned while laughing and told him "STOP pls" . Then he said "that's what i thought" and i was like you cheated he was like "you first did it". So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then i jumped on him and pulled his dick five times.And he scream and i quickly ran out and laughed then he rann to me and i screamed and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while i said "ok ok stoppp" and he stopped and start sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while i said pls stop and then i pushed him off and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole and i said" owwwwwwww". Then he said" play with i'll fuck you up". I said ughh and slaped him.

Just before Lockdown began, a woman took her 15 yr old son Tom, and 14, 16 and 18 yr old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker.

The weekly family zoom call went well enough...until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14 year old was looking a little...plump. By the 20th week the 16 year old’s shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18 yr old’s belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14 year old was so huge she was obviously having triplets.

So the father waited until he’d talked to his son and daughters, and asked if he could talk to his wife alone.

“Look, I know you and the girls are all pregnant. I’m not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don’t have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?”

She started crying. "No, Tommy's the father! I'm so sorry, I never meant for it to happen, but it's been so lonely here without you....I walked in on him jerking off and just couldn't help myself! And Annie's been missing her boyfriend at college, and it....it just sort of got out of hand."

"It's okay sweetheart, I forgive you. You've been isolated for months, up there."

She wiped her tears away. "I can't believe how understanding you're being about this. When we get home I'm making you the best steak and lobster you ever had! I know you aren't eating well, I was looking at the bills on Amazon Prime and saw you ordered a 45 pound pail of peanut butter!"

He looked down under the camera line, under his desk. He wasn't wearing pants and the family dog was still licking his dick. "These things happen."