Boots jokes
What is the difference between the snow boots on a day today, but you have the one was the night you were coming tomorrow? I can get home night time for.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because someone booted her in the face. 馃ぃ馃ぃ
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.
Stephen Hawking said God isn鈥檛 real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 馃槀馃槀馃槀
How does an Indian open his car?
"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn鈥檛 want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 馃槀馃ぃ馃憣馃徎馃憣馃徎.. knee slapper