Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.
Q. What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a prostitute?
A. I respect prostitutes.
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
Someone goes into a bar and asks for a blow job. The barman goes, "Me too." But then the guy goes, "I meant the drink."
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
