Blow job jokes

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.

It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.

Someone goes into a bar and asks for a blow job. The barman goes, "Me too." But then the guy goes, "I meant the drink."

How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?

You can't get either one at home.

Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?

A. She didn't know how to swallow.

People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.

What is the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.

Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.