Biggest jokes
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
What is the biggest candy in the world?
Candy Borobudur.
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
Biggest lie ever told: it was the cat.
Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!
When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,
I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.
Biggest balls?
What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
Two nuns walk into a liquor store, and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had.
The clerk replied, "Heck no sister, you nuns aren't supposed to drink that stuff!" The nun said, "Well my son, it is not for us, you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers, "She has the constipation."
The clerk said, "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled, he goes over to them and says, "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!"
One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!"
What's Adam's biggest fear?
Andy with a belt.
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
The Israeli government is the biggest joke of all.
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!
White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!
What kind of wall is the biggest? A whall.
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
In the year 2020, who were the biggest enemies?
Coronavirus and toilet paper.
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
What is the biggest butt in the world?
The bottom of the ocean.