Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
Bathroom Jokes
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
Why did the mop lick the floor of the bathroom? Because it was so poopy.
Why did the human eat cereal in the bathroom?
So he could querk.
Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?
Because he had a toilet call in the drain.
Why can't a woman find a glory hole inside of the lady's room?
Because piss comes out of a woman's pussy.
Today I was asked to go out by 17 women. Well, I was in the women's bathroom. 💀
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
How do you surprise a blind kid?
Put a plunger in the toilet.
Pop in the toilet.
How do you punish a blind guy?
You leave a plunger in the toilet.
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
Roses are red, violets are blue, get the f*ck out, I’m trying to poo!
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
