You know if you Poo on the toilet at 11:59 pm... then at 12:01 am, its just the same shit , different day.....
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated When I told him this, he said, 'Are you kidding me?'.
I said, 'I shit you not.'
so one time I had a dream where I as on a road trip and we drove a gulf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan. We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom which was so weird!!!
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey.
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off then he ask if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah the thing is my mom was coming out the shower naked and when she open the door it was me and the mailman. Now when the mailman sees me he says to me we got something in common we both saw your mom naked.
what happens when theres ten people innone house and they all have to shit and theres one bathroom?
its a motherfucking shitz party
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet
Me- *crying in the shower* Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*
there was this boy he had diarrhea and he kept asking to go to the bathroom but the teacher said no next ting you know he poop his self infront of the class.
What kind of Bath Bomb does a Emo Person use?
A Toaster
What is the origins of the glory hole? The origins can be found in San Francisco, California where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for a anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA in the wild west.
My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.
i asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school and she said oh go look in the bathroom above the sink.........there was a mirror
freand. your bold and fat me. bro go to the bathroom ant look at the mear you will probly brake it
little jonny bad ass was sitting on a porch one day and a preacher was in the house little jonny bad ass had to use the bathroom so he bangs on the door saying mom i half to use the bathroomn his mom ses wait so little jonny bad ass sow a hat on the step he lookes around and pulls his pants down and shits in the hat well a few later the preacher comes out and ses i see u have my hat well little jonny bad ass ses ya i cout the wolds fasts berd the preacher ses well let me see him little jonny bad ass ses no i dont know well the preacher ses ill put my handes by the hat you lift and ill cach him well little jonny bad ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapt his handes and little jonny bad ass ses now see the bird don shit and ran.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop - Right. So you weight yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool. - Oh..that might actually be even easier
WHY DID THE CATS GO IN THE LITTERBOX?? TO TAKE A POOP
my mom once ate a full giant cheesecake and we were walking to our flight back home and she had to shat. we were walking to the bathroom and she full on in front of the caroulsel, she had a lump of poo in her pants... true story haha
