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Back jokes

Alien

Why do humans hate aliens?

Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!

War

I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!

Sheep

Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.

Wife

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. šŸ’€

Hairline

Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!

Wheelchair

So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.

Sex

My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

Car

How many people can you fit in a car?

6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.

Dad

Why can't you eat cereal?

Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!

Shrek

Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.

News

"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.

"Give me the good news first," the patient said.

"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."

"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"I've been trying to reach you for two days."

Dog

A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.

The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.

Sleepover

So, Dora is having a sleepover with her cousin Diego at Dora's house. Later that night, Dora's mom hears someone screaming, "Go Diego go!" for at least a couple of minutes, and then it stops, and she goes back to sleep.

But then she hears the same thing a couple of minutes later, so she walks in and hears "Go Diego go!" She walks over to Diego's sleeping bag and looks, and it's empty, so she walks over to Dora's sleeping bag and looks in and sees Dora getting f

... by Diego and hears Dora saying, "Go Diego go!" while moaning.

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