If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
South's losing to Broncos. 😹
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
Koalas are awesome!
Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!
What type of shirt do kangaroos wear? Jumpsuits.
What is the name of the bear capital?
Koala Lumpur.
Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
I threw a boomerang two years ago... I live in constant fear.
One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!!
Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!
So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."
I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'
I don't need this shit!
Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.
Is it classed as down under if you eat out an Australian chick?
I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.
Uranus caught a 3-meter flatty while surfing. Check the tail still kicking. Deadly, my bruz!
The best way to enjoy Port Arthur is to shoot through--a quote by hilarious comedian Isaac Butterfield.
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
What do you call a flying Aboriginal?
Boong 747.
Why are koalas so cool? Because LL Cool J ama said "knock you out!"
"Koalafications" are irr-elephant.
My brother likes his Vegemite so black, it stole our car.
