Astronomy jokes
Why didn't the sun get a job? Seriously, I have no idea why. Help me!
Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.
Yo forehead so large, it has its own gravitational pull.
Yo momma's so fat that she plays pool with planets.
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
What is a pedophile's favorite planet?
Uranus.
Did you hear about the midget astronaut?
He landed on Pluto.
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!
Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
Why is Uranus so big? Because you discovered it.
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
Imagine Africans during a solar eclipse...
When you split Uranus in half, it is "ur-anus." That's why it has a butts joke. Weird.
Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
Mooning is very astrological!
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
Yo mama so fat, she went to the moon without leaving Earth.