Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers, the more there are, the less there are.
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger
Whats the difference between a cow and a pig,
One is a pig
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common? Both are not a lamp.
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered sex offender.
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she’s probably angry.
I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them
Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
What do you call a white board that is dirty? A dirty white board.
What do you call a high school student? Alone and depressed.
One day I came home from school and said to my dad 'I got expelled from school today' he said ' how' I said I threw my book at the teacher' he asked why' I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program and my teacher said words can't hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. '
Why was the boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.
A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
These days there are only two political parties in India.. BJP and anti-BJP...
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of anti-bodies.
