ANS jokes

What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?

They have no way home.

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?

Because the chip was family size.

"Spider-Man: No Way Home," know why he’s an orphan now?

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You make them clap until their parents come home.

Name something an orphan can't do?

Go cry to their mommy.

What's one advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚

"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

Why does an orphan hate the internet?

Because he's always on the homepage.

Why was the chicken screaming?

He had an egg stuck in his butt.

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?

Stopping it with a pitchfork.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

"Spider-Man: Homecoming"

I asked an orphan where his parents were.

(God, I wish I knew)

How do you get 1000 followers?

Walk into an African village with a water bottle.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?

“My Mommy Comes Back”