And jokes

What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!

My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.

"Do you want to hear a joke?"

"Yes."

"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"

Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!

You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.

I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"

Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

The doctor said, "You're all right now."

What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?

The apples get picked.

When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.

You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

Me and my emo group were walking down to the tree and somebody yelled, "Don't leave me!"

Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."

Biden and Trump.

That's it. That's the joke.

What is the difference between Obama and Osama?

Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."