And jokes

A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”

Two antennas met on a roof and got married.

The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.

Why do emos cut themselves?

To play noughts and crosses.

OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.

The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.

Q: What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

A: One of them gets picked.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?

Jose and Hose B.

Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?

He made a hit and run!

How many letters are in the English Alphabet?

Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.

I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet, and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap?

I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make a noise when you throw them.

I just wanna say thanks to everyone who favorited my jokes and commented! Thanks!

My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?

Divorced.

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

I bought a horse and named him Mayo.

Sometimes Mayo neighs.

I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.

What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?

One goes up and one goes down.

Like Markgeraldnasol and his Pokemon Jokes.

What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?

Mr. Mime!

Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!

My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.