And jokes

Please don't get mad, it's a joke.

What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.

Nina, you better run to hell. You're going there anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't be mean to Alex!!!!!!!!!!! He is sweet, kind, loving, and protective!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.

I don't know, my friend did it.

Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.

What do you and orphans have in common?

Nobody loves you.

A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?

The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.

I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?

One lasts long and another doesn't.

What's the difference between an orphan and a bowl of apples?

The apples got picked!

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

I just beat the Hollow Knight and found it takes 26 hours to beat it, but it took me 69 hours to beat it.

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pisa?

The Leaning Tower of Pisa has good reflexes.

What’s bin Laden got in common with SpongeBob?

Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, and they’re filled with holes.

Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?

Because nobody will actually look for them.

I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? They were only two.