And jokes

Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?

Seek and Hide: Me.

Figure: Ok, Seek, you're it. Me and Hide will hide.

Seek: Why do I have to be the seeker?

Figure: Because your name is in seeker.

Hello, everybody, it's me, Mariplier, and today I'm going to be balling at Freddy's!

What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."

What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.

What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?

They can't see each other anymore.

What is white, then red, and is very fast?

My chainsaw blade.

What do priests and McDonald's have in common?

They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns!

What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?

One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.

"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"

"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."

"I meant the ice cream, bro..."

My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”

A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"

Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.

Roses are red, clovers are green.

I love your legs and what's in between. LOL

What do orphans and homework have in common?

Everybody forgets about them.

What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?

They both will die alone.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."

Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.

Why are the Twin Towers mad?

They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.