And jokes

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.

Does it cycle now? 🚲

Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.

What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.

What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.

"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"

Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.

What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?

In baseball, you know where home is.

What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?

They're both fat.

How do fuck a really fat chick?

Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

What is the difference between an orphan and Pokemon?

People choose Pokemon.

"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"

When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.

I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One gets picked.

Please don't get mad, it's a joke.

What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.

Nina, you better run to hell. You're going there anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't be mean to Alex!!!!!!!!!!! He is sweet, kind, loving, and protective!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.

I don't know, my friend did it.

Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.

What do you and orphans have in common?

Nobody loves you.

A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.