And jokes

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme, but you can hear a hormone.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes time to put you under.

Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.

And they created The Green Party.

What's long and black?

The line at Popeyes.

Bunger got me like:

😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...

Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?

A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.

What's the difference between Monday and a dick?

They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.

You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"

How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?

What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.

Who is older than the Twin Towers?

Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.

What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.

What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?

"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."

I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.

What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?

Pikachu, I choose you!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,

But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

Say this when you answer a spam call...

"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."

Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.

Me: And I don't speak idiot language.