And jokes
Chuck Norris threw a grenade once. It killed 300 people.
And then it exploded.
What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?
Hitler knew when his career was over.
I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
Memes
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
What is the difference between Black people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.