And jokes

Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?

They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?

Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’

I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’

What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?

They both say "Hello children!"

I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.

A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"

Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?

Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?

One of them is an outside job.

If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."

What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?

One has more channels.

What is the difference between hungry and horny?

The cucumber goes to different places.

God: You're gonna have 2 parents.

Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.

Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

A: Neither of them get to see their parents.

I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

👱‍♀️ 👱‍♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?

A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?

Elton John is still standing.

I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.