And jokes

Two gays came into the bar and said, "What's up, you big faf mother of hell?"

Qwen, I have to tell you something, so say "hi" and I will tell you.

When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"

So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.

But don't worry, he is all right now.

My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.

Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".

I commented back to you and portory.

If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?

Worms and rotten fruit.

My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.

Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.

"I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"

I went for a walk today, and I did a good job of telling what time it was.

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!

Beans and toast.

A horse walked in a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"

So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"

Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"

What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?

They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.

Keep rolling your eyes and maybe you'll find a brain back there.

Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?

Orphans can’t work at Johnson and Johnson because it’s a family company.

What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?

"I love you Twoson."

I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."

I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."

He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."