My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
Who am I?
Today I am finding out the lore of worstjokesever.com.
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
Say "eye," smell "map," say "ness."
(I am a penis!) HA HA!
Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth?"
Girl, scan the code on your wrist.
Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?
And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭
I am the orphan joke.
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
What did the Teacher say to the orphan?
"I am calling your parents!"
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
