A cop pulls over an old man.
The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
The old man said, "No."
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?
A. I forget.
Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?
My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"
If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.
They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.
Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
"Who am I? Why am I typing?"
I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.
She literally died a crazy bitch.
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Grandma, I can’t believe I have Alzheimer’s.
One second later, Well at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.
