Alzheimers jokes
Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.
I love you.
A cop pulls over an old man.
The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
The old man said, "No."
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
"Who am I? Why am I typing?"
If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.
They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.
Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?
My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"
Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!
Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?
A. I forget.
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.