Alzheimers

Alzheimers jokes

Money

Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.

Cop

A cop pulls over an old man.

The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

The old man said, "No."

Cure

What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?

Alzheimer's.

Pear

When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.

She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.

I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!

Disease

You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...

You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.

Alzheimer's

Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.

Cancer

Doctor: I have bad news.

Man: What?

Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

Man: Oh, no...

Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

Mother

Knock, knock.

(Who’s there?)

Roger.

(Roger who?)

Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!

Expense

I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.

Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.

Punching Bag

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

Dog

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

Movie

Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?

Neither does he.