Alzheimers Jokes

A cop pulls over an old man.

The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

The old man said, "No."

Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?

What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?

Alzheimer's.

You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...

You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.

Doctor: I have bad news. Man: What? Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer. Man: Oh, no... Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's. Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.

Knock, knock.

(Who’s there?)

Roger.

(Roger who?)

Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!

"Who am I? Why am I typing?"

Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?

Neither does he.

I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.

I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.

How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.

Grandma, I can’t believe I have Alzheimer’s.

One second later, Well at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.

I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.

Um.

Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.

A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”

Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”

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