All jokes

What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.

Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.

If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.

Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.

Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."

Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"

"So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."

"Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"

I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was.

To bitch them is my real test, to train them is my cause.

I will travel across the land, searching far and wide.

Fuse Pokemon to UnderStand, the power that’s inside.

Poke him on! Gotta train them all it’s Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you’re my best friend, In a world you must defend, Poke him on! Gotta train them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!! Gotta train them all, Gotta train them all! Pokemon!

Why are carpenters never horny after work?

Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was flaming hot wings.

It’s not cheating if you’re all siblings.

What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?

KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.

What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!

My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.

I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.

It just doesn’t make any cents!

What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?

"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.

Most women are like the Twin Towers.

It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.

I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.

All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.

All orphans must hate the LGBTQIA+ because they are home-o-phobic.