Air Travel jokes
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
What's simultaneously up and down?
A retard on a plane.
Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.
He was the best pilot in Arab.
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
Wanna hear some famous last words?
"We are just experiencing some turbulence."
To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.