Affairs jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"
Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" ๐๐๐
Dentist: โThis will hurt a little.โ
Patient: โOK.โ
Dentist: โIโm having an affair with your wife!โ
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.
It's a sad state of affairs.
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.
One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks," the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.
"OK. How much?" the man replies, after considering the position he was in.
"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.
"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive," but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy.
"It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off.
"Yes it is," replies the man.
"Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks.
"OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage.
"Fifty dollars," the boy replies, and the transaction is completed.
The next weekend, the little boy's father says, "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch."
"I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy.
"How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy.
"Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says.
"SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away.
At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Don't you start that crap in here," the priest says.
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet.
One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, โItโs dark in here, isnโt it?โ โYes, it is,โ the man replies. โYou wanna buy a baseball?โ the little boy asks. โNo thanks,โ the man replies. โI think you do want to buy a baseball,โ the little extortionist continues. โOK. How much?โ the man replies, after considering the position he was in. โTwenty-five dollars,โ the little boy replies. โTWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!โ the man repeats. โThatโs awful expensive,โ but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy. โItโs dark in here, isnโt it?โ the boy starts off. โYes, it is,โ replies the man. โWanna buy a baseball glove?โ the little boy asks. โOK. How much?โ the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage. โFifty dollars,โ the boy replies, and the transaction is completed.
The next weekend, the little boyโs father says, โHey, son. Go get your ball and glove and weโll play some catch.โ โI canโt. I sold them,โ replies the little boy. โHow much did you get for them?โ asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy. โSeventy-five dollars,โ the little boy says. "SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! Thatโs thievery! Iโm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away.
At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says โItโs dark in here, isnโt it?โ โDonโt you start that crap in here,โ the priest says.
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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster
IM ABOUT TO START SOMETHING THAT WILL GET A LOT OF HATE LOL
This is an article I found. I will vote for this man.
Unknown to the world only a few years ago, the former mayor of South Bend, Indiana, quickly entered the conversation when he announced plans to run for president in the 2020 election. Pete Buttigieg placed fifth in the primaries after dropping out of the race and endorsing Joe Biden. He currently servesโฆ Read more
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