Actuality jokes

Why do orphans like being criminals?

Because then someone actually wants them.

I wrote a song about tortillas...

Actually, it's more of a wrap.

I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday, but it’s actually more of a rap.

Why is Homelander an orphan's favorite superhero?

Because they can actually land a home.

What's Technoblade's actual Zodiac Sign?

Cancer!

How did Technoblade actually die?

He got stabbed!

Q: Why do orphans love boomerangs?

A: Because they actually come back.

What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?

If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.

I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.

What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?

I actually come back with the milk.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One's actually picked.

Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?

They actually can call someone "daddy!"

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang because it actually comes back.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples actually get picked.

What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?

The "curry muncher 2000."

Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"

Friend: "I don't know."

Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.

The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.

"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"

Sally: "You..."

Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"

Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."

Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"

Johnny: "A pig."

Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "

Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One actually gets picked.

What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?

While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.

Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually come back.