Accuracy

Accuracy jokes

Man

  • A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."

    He couldn't shoot straight.

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  • Clock

  • What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?

    A clock.

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  • Kobe

  • If you take a shot, a paper wad, in the trashcan, and call "Kobe!" but miss, it's still a Kobe.

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  • Shooting

  • A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I鈥檓 so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.

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  • Shooting

  • Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:

    Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.

    Clock

  • Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.

    "These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."

    "Oh, cool."

    "This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."

    "Makes sense."

    "This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."

    "Where's Trump's clock?"

    "Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."

    And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.

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