Accuracy

Accuracy Jokes

Sniper

I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.

Twin Towers

Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?

Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.

Bullshit

As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.

Reason

I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.

Shot

Me: Cobain!

Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.

Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.

Shooting

A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.

Kobe

If you take a shot, a paper wad, in the trashcan, and call "Kobe!" but miss, it's still a Kobe.

Clock

Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.

"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."

"Oh, cool."

"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."

"Makes sense."

"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."

"Where's Trump's clock?"

"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."

And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.

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  • Man

    A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."

    He couldn't shoot straight.

    Angle

    I got in an argument with the 90-degree angle. And guess what? It was right!