I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man do I love being a sniper.
Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning. Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 7 percent?
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast, it has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
What if your Corona Test is neutral?
I bought a rainbow gun but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight
My Ex wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better! Gravity Falls Suckers
Me: Cobain! Friend: No, dude, its Kobe. Me: why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
If you take a shoot a paper wad in the trashcan, and call "Kobe!" but miss, it's still a Kobe.
Kobe Missed A lot of shots but he sure didn’t miss the mountain
My wife still misses me...
But her aim is getting better!
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person, when the police asked why he missed, someone said cause he gay.
He couldn't shoot straight
Once I went to a museum and over heard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"oh cool"
"this is mother Teresa's clock, the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense"
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
