
Accuracy jokes
I got in an argument with the 90-degree angle. And guess what? It was right!
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
Stormtroopers, I guess they never miss, huh?
What if your Corona test is neutral?
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
My wife still misses me... But her aim is getting better!
Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?
Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
If you take a shot, a paper wad, in the trashcan, and call "Kobe!" but miss, it's still a Kobe.
My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn鈥檛 shoot straight.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I鈥檓 so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
You give some people 2.54 centimeters, and they take 1.6 kilometers.
Kobe missed a lot of shots, but he sure didn鈥檛 miss the mountain.
