The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!
OutOfPocket
@outofpocket
Jus here makin outta pocket jokes ngl.
My girlfriend dumped me... so I stole her wheelchair... Guess who came crawling back.
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable? The Wheelchair.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What's the difference between a black and a white fairy tale? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, "Y'all mutherfuckers ain't gonna believe dis shit."
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snowballs!
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
Moby Dick's father's name...
Papa Boner.
“White people can't jump."
You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV. His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuBuDuRDeEDeRdUuUuU!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.
I like women's rights "jokes" because they're all facts.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?