If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.
OutOfPocket
“White people can't jump."
You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV His daughter comes in and says "dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! Its because when you were born a rose peddle fell on your head." "Cool" Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said "dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied,"Oh! its because when you were a baby, a daisy peddle fell on your head." "Awesome" Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said "DuUuBuDuRDeEDeRdUuUuU!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"
What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman? Snowballs!
My girlfriend dumped me... so I stole her wheelchair... Guess who came crawling back.
What's the difference between a black & a white fairy tail? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, " Y'all mutherfuckers aint gonna believe dis shit"
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest? nothing... they both stick their meat in ten year old buns.
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah.
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance? They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
Moby Dick's fathers name... Papa Boner.
I like women's rights "jokes" because they're all facts.
you know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?" How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable? The Wheelchair.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.