What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?
Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
Nightmare
@nightmare
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.
Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.
They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.