Joshisboss

I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.

If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."

I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.

The wheels on the bus go round and round!

Gays: I like men

Strait: I like women

Bisexual: a hole is a hole

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and spade.

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands for money.

Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."

The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather , that is until my mom took the urn away from me

Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.

Dad: Well, how do you know?

Son: I found the adoption papers.

Dad: That is for your mum.

If you know, you know.

My dog is pregnant. I'm gonna be a... I don't know?

Ohhh, an owner.

No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.

It's just true.

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Cause every play has a cast.

you play gatcha life more like go get a life.

What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.

I made it, DON'T COPY!!!

Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.

BTW, I am one, wahahaa!

Rizz,

Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.

Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.

You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.

Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"

Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.

LOL

Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.

Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.