Worst Jokes Ever

GG Miller

yo mamma so fat when God said let there be light he was just asking her to get out the way

Anonymous

I got a ps5 for my brother, best trade i've ever made

𝔇𝔞𝔤𝔤𝔢𝔯

Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?

Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?

Me: It's an autobiography.

The broken joker

What is the worst combination of illnesses? Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

6

Iamanorphan

in Orphan

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me? Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

AP16

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather , that is until my mom took the urn away from me

murder muffin

what did the woman with no hands get for christmas? no idea. she hasn’t opened her present yet.

Anonymous

“I’m thinking about killing off the main character in this book I’m writing.”

“What type of book is it?”

“An autobiography.”

6

Hailey ❁

Theres an outbreak of the foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.

I hope my teacher will be ok

🐊

What do you call a alligator that cant geg hard. A reptile disfunction

georgy t

in Emo

what happens when the president turns emo? the great depression

BaddienotSaddie

What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely? Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.

uymom

in Jack and Jill

jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter

please like this. i bet my friend 20 bucks that i would get to 15 likes before him

Russell8833

Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy" to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, i'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy.

Rhys Nolan

in Orphan

Why are Orphans so bad at dodgeball

Because no one misses them

Bloodcurdling scream

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

Anonymous

Ever heard of the show naked and afraid? thats what i call hide and seek with my uncle.

Trentarium

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

Anonymous

in Puns

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.