Worst Jokes Ever
When you send nudes to your Roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone...
Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple, Not F***ing blue!
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
Yeah, Asians have squinty eyes, but that's because they have had the displeasure of seeing so many ugly obese Americans in one place.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
what happens when the president turns emo?
the great depression.
My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.
Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?
Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.
I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.