Worst Jokes Ever
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with!
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "What, no soap?" Then he dies and she marries the barber.
I keep getting ads about belly fat.
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
I was born on the moon.
Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.
My live.
I had power.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.
Do you think Stephen Hawking could ever plug his Instagram or anything?
You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.
Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND CLEAN MY ROOM! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!
Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!
Wanna hear a joke? You need some milk.
How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?
Add the "S."