What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
Worst Jokes Ever
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.
Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.
She's a 10, but she doesn't like sex.
What do you call a ball with no hair? A Mexican ball.
Your mom is FAAAAAAAAAT as FUCK.
What is an orphan's hated movie line?
E.T. phone home.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
Guess what?
Guess what?
Chicken butt.
Got them!
Man, that's funny!
Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.
Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.
Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
"My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104."
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
Teacher: I’m gonna call your parents.
Orphan: Go on, see if they pick up.
So if you are bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?🙄🙄
Why did the orphan commit a crime?
Because they wanted to be wanted!
Roses are red, I am Groot, Honey, where's my super suit?
