You're jokes
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
An American goes on a British bus after being in war. He wants to sit down, so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down, but there is an old woman on the seat with her dog in the next one.
The man says, "Will you move your dog?"
The lady says, "Oh, you Americans are always so demanding," and she says to sit somewhere else. He goes through and finds no seats, so now he's at the back again. This time he throws the dog out the window and sits down.
The man in front says, "You Americans always do things wrong. First, you drive on the wrong side of the road, then hold you knife and fork wrong, and you threw the wrong bitch out the window!"
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.
Think of your favorite singer. Now, go ask someone what is your favorite singer. My favorite singer is Halsey, BTS. Now think about your least fave, mine is Oil London 😵. This is my home now.
1. What rhymes with "oil"? Put it in da chat. Bye weird people!
I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."
Your hairline.
Bully: Agh, you're ugly!
Me: Said your mom when you were born.
My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies.
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!
You: Why? I don't have any.
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,
I hope you're fucking happy.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”
Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.
What do you expect when you get out of a bar?
Your mom naked LOLOLOLOL.
What did one cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.
You want to hear a joke?
Your mom.
Your forehead is so big, your face is on your chin.