Wrapping Paper jokes

What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

A pair of gloves!

Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.

Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?

Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?

He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.

What kind of paper likes music? Wrapping paper.

Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."

How does a rapper make a burrito?

With WRAPPING paper, DUUUHHHHHH!

Wanna hear a terrible joke?

Paper

Pretty tear-able, huh?

I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An envelope.

Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)

Do trees shit?

Well, how else would we get #2 pencils?