My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
Whos Jokes
I finally got my wife to shut up.
Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don’t know.
To get to the idiot house.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
The chicken.
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
Who are the Fastest Readers in the world?
9/11 victims: They read 87 stories in 10 seconds.
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. That's my best friend.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
Who are you to believe if you don't believe in unicorns?
Knock knock. Who's there? Ach. Ach who? Bless you!
Knock knock. Who's there? Jo. Jo who? Jo Auntie.
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
Plane versus plane. Who wins? Plane.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"
