Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
Whos Jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Who is better than Alabama?
CLEMSON TIGERS!
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: A broken pencil.
Friend: A broken pencil who?
Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
Knock knock. Who’s there? Gary. Gary who? Gary a torch.
Who did Stephen Hawking love more than anyone else?
His wife, "Eye," who was also bad at running.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sally.
Sally who?
You're going to bed right now.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun...
Do you know who invented paper?
Cai Lun!
“RIP” Cai Lun.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house!
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
The idiot chicken who just crossed the road!!!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Gun. Gun who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!