Whistle jokes

Why don't women parachute naked?

That annoying whistling sound on the way down.

What do you call a fat, ugly, and hairy woman with a rape whistle? A feminist.

I got caught peeing in the pool.

The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.

So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....

Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?

So they don't whistle on the way down!

Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!

What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?

Optimistic.

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wouldn't whistle, so I bought a steel whistle. But it still wouldn't whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it still wouldn't lead me to whistle.

How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.

Why can't humans hear a dog whistle? -- Because dogs can't whistle.