We jokes

Why don't we wrestle bears?

The pain is un-bearable.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"

Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?

Bryce: What?

Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!

P.S. I'm a girl.

So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?

Welcome to Peyton's Orphanage, where you make it, we take it!

We must start a propaganda for baked beans.

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

...Because there's always a cast!

We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.

Guys, we should stop doing orphan jokes, their parents will be wait......... continue.

Maybe we should stop talking about orphans, their parents will get ma... oh wait.

"Bill swift here, you make them, we take them!"

My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔

Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.

I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.

Girl: Dad, where are you?

Dad: I went to go get milk.

Girl: But we have milk.

Dad: I know, I just don't love you.

When we told Twin Towers to put on airplane mode, we didn't mean a real airplane.

Guys, we need to stop telling orphan jokes, they're gonna tell their parents. Oh wait, never mind, continue.

Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?

Shut up and cut the coke.

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.