Wank jokes

What's the first rule of Wank Club?

Don't shake hands with anyone else in Wank Club.

My son was thrown out of school for letting a schoolgirl wank him off.

"That's the third school this year..." I said to my son, "... Maybe teaching isn't for you."

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."

When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."

What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg.

What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?

Nothing, he just started wanking.

Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.

What's fat and wanks over his mom?

Guy Sheppard.

Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"

Wanking.

What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.

I wank over Rose Watson.