Walk-on jokes
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says "What's wrong?" The woman says "I've never been hugged before." So, the man gives her a hug and walks away.
The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says "What's wrong, now?" The woman says "I've never been kissed before." So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away.
The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says "Oh, for Christ's sake! What's wrong, this time?!" The woman says "Well, I've never been fucked before." So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED!"
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 馃檮.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 馃槼馃樁馃槦.
My depression: 馃槈 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.
Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."
Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."
Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
Jesus could walk on water, and Chuck Norris can swim through land.
What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.
Neil before me.
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
Why can鈥檛 a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can鈥檛 walk on a straight line.
Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the field?
The grass was tickling his balls.
No, Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."
The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."
The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.
I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.