Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today" and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron". Then the first atom said "How Ionic"
Little Johnny walked on into to his house.He heard a banging sound from up above and decied to investigate.He opened the door to his parents room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door.He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
Jesus could walk on water and Chuck Norris can swim through land
what is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?
Why was the stair case so sad? Because every one walks on them.
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says "What's wrong?" The woman says "I've never been hugged before." So, the man gives her a hug and walks away.
The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says "What's wrong, now?" The woman says "I've never been kissed before." So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away.
The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says "Oh, for Christ's sake! What's wrong, this time?!" The woman says "Well, I've never been fucked before." So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED!"
[god creating spiders] God: ok what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls
I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.
Neil before me.
(A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing)
Man: Ah.. suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump? Lady: Yep. I hate this world. Man: Well, if your gonna die, can we have sex before you jump? Lady: Hell no! You creep! Man: Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore..
what side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? the psycopath.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong walked ON the moon and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: 🙄. My depression: remeber that one tim...... Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we..... Me: nope. My deprssion: *says really fast*:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: 😳😶😟. My depression: 😉 dont worry I'll always be here for you.
They say Jesus walked on water. That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says "Sorry, It was an axe-cident!"
What can’t a gay person walk a trail because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the feild
The grass was tickling his balls
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5min later I found fell it in gutter
I was walking home when i saw a children crossing the streets on his own. I went towards him and tap his shoulder and said "hey Little kid, you are not suppose to be walking on your own."the kid turns out to be a dwarf.
I walk on on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said mum, you really spoil those dogs!
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
