Wailing jokes

An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"

The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."

The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"

The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"

So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.

What did the whale say?

Nothing!

It just wailed.

I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.

The wheels on the bus go round and round!

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?

Having to wait your turn.

I asked an emo, "Do they get jealous when their phone dies?"

What has two wings and a halo?

A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?