Visit jokes
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
Why doesnβt Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he canβt sniff their hair.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.
Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santaβs wet cock.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
What's an orphan's least favorite store to go to?
Home Depot.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, a chair, and a table.
What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?
The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Why do orphans go to church?
They have someone to call "father" there.
Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.
Orphan: Realizes.
Why did the bee go to the doctors?
Answer: Because he had hives.
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
What do orphans get when they go to a bank alone?