Newest US Jokes - Page 11 - Worst Jokes Ever

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I wanna be the berry best, like no won ever was. To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel a cross the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to Under-strand, the lower that’s in Sike. Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it’s Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you’re my pest friend, In a whirl’d you must de-blend, Poke him on! Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!! Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all! Pokemon!

POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE:I wanna be the berry best, like no won ever was. To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel a cross the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to Under-strand, the lower that's in Sike. Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a whirl'd you must de-blend, Poke him on! Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!! Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all! Poke him on!

My name is Joe Biden and I am running for US Senate.

When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in among us

"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH"

A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "yep that's definitely Joe," but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that's not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "yep that's definitely Joe," but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that's not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, "how is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?" The 1st friend said, "well you see Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious? the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there's Joe with those 2 assholes."

It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had cool subject! The subject was about the Pendulum, the man who statpaded against small teams and camped in pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which penaldo dived like a dolphin!

If you argued that god was a woman 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell Just to ask the other guy. Talk about a male supremacist religion.

TRUE STORY!

X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen. I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her! Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!

Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin. Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you.

A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I never forgotten it... A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass...the worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back & another train ran over him and cut off his head... BAD IDEA & a lesson to us all... NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)

Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. "After you're dead, you'll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families." This announcement was met with gasps of despair from the bound trio. "There is one small favor I can offer you," the chief went on. "We'll let you choose your own method of death from what we have captured from other explorers". Some of the tribal members begin walking by displaying various implements of war and death. The first explorer chose a crusty looking musket. Thankfully the powder load still fired, and he was dispatched without much fuss. The second chose a knife and quickly drew it across his throat. Both carcasses were hauled off by various tribesmen. The third explorer stood there resolute and deep in thought. After a few moments the chieftain, "There is no escape, you need to decide now, or I'll decide for yo..." "Do you have a fountain pen in any of that junk?" the explorer interrupted? Baffled the chieftain sent two of his men to rummage. They came back bearing the pen and a bottle of ink. When the explorer noticed the ink was Noodler's Baystate Blue, his grin spread from ear to ear. Gathered round the explorer, spears in hand, the cannibals looked on as he was released and set to work filling the pen with ink. Confused, the chief began to speak, "I'm afraid we have no paper and even if you wrote a final letter, we'd have no way of sending it anywh..." Cackling with triumphant glee, the explorer raised the pen into the air and began ramming it into his torso nib first again and again. He then fell upon the ground gasping a death rattle. Horrified, the chief drew close as the man beckoned him for one final word. "But why this painful death? When you had so many other more merciful options?" the chief asked. Laughing, the man gasped his last statement into the chief's ear, "You'll make no boats from me now, and your mouths will be blue for months!"

What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.

A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."

Why does us suck at chess? we lost both our towers. Why is england so good at chess? they still have their queen. Why does russia suck at chess? they only have pawns

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins he has all power but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea that’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different. Our lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven the promise land only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our lord. This is your choice believe and go to Heaven or don’t believe and go to Hell a eternal death make a choice.

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humour, they think of humour as like a happy thing because humour makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering, if I take a joke like , how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb, none they just beat the room for being black, now that joke isn’t make light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racial discriminated against, it’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind and that is important, humour at its best takes the bad thing in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny

And before you go in the comments and say i agree with rape, I don’t, I hope everybody who rapes someone to have there dick cut of, my little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

Jesus told the world if he had to pick a body all over again that he would pick himself! He believes he is ( Gods gift to this earth) The best looking, the smartest, pure perfection!

Hahaha LOL Jajaj

And I Quote! " THATS WHY I PUT MYSELF NAKED ON THE CROSS IN CHURCHES TO SEE MY BODY !!!!"

GROSSEST, SCAREST, UGLIST, SLOPPY, DISRESPECTFUL, DISGUSTING, IT

If he actually ate the bullshit that came out of his mouth, He wouldn't of made up satan! He wouldn't Rape us, He wouldn't embody us! He wouldn't try to be us! USING OUF VOICES! USING OUR SPIRIT!