The little camel asks his mother: Mum why do we have these big humps? Because in these hump there is some water and in the hot desert we can drink. And mum. Why do we have this large fur? Because the dessert at night is so cold and then we don’t feel cold. And mum. Why do we got these big hoofs. Because the desert the sand is hot and the hoofs save us from the hot sand. But mum. What the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?
Yesterday I got detention because I said to the emo kit come hang with us
Elmo- welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia
dude- why are we close to Disneyland.
kid- I don't know. Elmo- rule 1 you must not tell the afforests or Bob Iger about us.
meanwhile Officer- come on Elmo you're going to prison. *Officer arrests Elmo* Elmo- But who wants Tickels.
one day a teacher says:"what does a pig give us?" a student says:"bacon!" the teacher says:"good! now, what does a chicken give us?" a student says:"eggs!" the teacher says:"good! now, what does a fat cow give us?" a student says:"homework!" the whole class laughs
troll your friend by saying i and saying cup and then tell them that that means i see you pee LOL there is also lettuce cup witch means let us see you pee
Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J," Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter " go bye your self something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice," they both look at craig as he pulls out a letter. craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THER BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throughs down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"
Bully: ur momma so fat that the whales said we r family even though ur a little bigger tah us
Nerd: yo momma so ugly tat when she went in the bathtub the water jumped out
Silence...................punch!
Jeff: *crosses the US border* The second he crosses into the USA: guy comes up with gun Jeff: that’s what I was expecting.
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
trump really fractured the US with his 1/6 insurrection...
“Your mother has been with us for 20 years,” said John. “Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?” “My mother?” replied Helen. “I thought she was your mother.”
