Unplugged

Unplugged jokes

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Dark Humor

  • Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.

    Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

    You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

    My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

    I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

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    Hospital

  • So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.

    It worked really well in my local hospital.

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    Technology

  • My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.

    Grandpa

  • What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?

    Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.

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    Roller Coaster

  • I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.

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  • Stephen Hawking

  • Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.

    He also forgot to pay the power bill.

    If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.