Unlikeness jokes
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 馃檶馃徑馃榿
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
You know why orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their parents.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
Q: Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: They come back, unlike their parents.
I love almond milk. It鈥檚 unlike any udder milk.
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
I am only here because me no like Blues Clues LGBTQ episode as I don鈥檛 believe in that. If you do, ok.
And it shouldn鈥檛 be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money; it鈥檚 exploitation because they don鈥檛 truly support, unlike me, in which I don鈥檛 support it.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang. Unlike its parents, it comes back.
Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.
Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I鈥檓 gonna..."
Vortex: "You'll do what?"
Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"
*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*
Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."