Time travel jokes

Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.

When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."

His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"

Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"

10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"

My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.

I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.

Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.

Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?

I traveled through time to get my dad back.

I failed because I was 1e21 years off.

If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.

Your hairline is so bad, it goes back in time!

Hairline so big people had to time travel to find the end of it.

I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.

Is your hairline a time traveler, because it went way back?

I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.

Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?

Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.

|| 20 YEARS LATER ||

Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?

Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.

Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.

A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.

I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.

I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!

"Back To The Future"-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY, Marty, but NEVER go to the year 2021.....

When you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live:

"Looks like I am going back to the future!"

Why did the hobo go back to the future?

To stop himself from wasting all his money on a rigged casino machine.

A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"