Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
Hairline so big people had to time travel to find the end of it
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
Is your hairline a time traveler because it went way back
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
A customer asked me to look at their hairline,I time travelled back to the dinosaurs
I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.
I invented a time traveling machine and travelled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid, they told me, "it wasn't an asteroid...it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct". Tears ran down my face. Shame on you Pessi!
Back To The Future-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY Marty but NEVER go to the year 2021.....
When you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live:
"Looks like I am going back to the future!"
Why did the hobo go back to the future?
To stop himself from wasting all his money on a rigged casino machine.
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"
(A scientist time travels into the year 2024) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
caesar went to the future only to see on how the roman's forgot Julius caesar but only made a salad... i think it would have been better if caesar stayed dead
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
