Imagine there’s a funny joke here..imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum cause you’re schizophrenic.
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubix cube into pussy. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there. If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.
Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) It’s the police ma’am, your son got hit by a drunken driver he’s dead.
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa? Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his perants were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?
Why are there no fat people in Japan? Last time they had a Fat Man 80,000 people died.
where did the children go after he step on the land mine
there, there, over there, and over here to
Why shouldn’t you call people in china?
Because there are so many wings and wongs you might wing the wong number
Not a joke but theres no where else to post this , ( mainly this post is for the broke people w/o a gym ) . Did you know that the body can't tell if ur using weights? so lifting weights are optional . some beginner workouts W/O weights for like really weak ppls . 1. sit - up's 10 reps 2. push - up's 20 per reps 3. squat's 10 per reps 4. crunches 10 per reps
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs
there’s no hope.
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the battle of the Alamo? Cause they only had 4 trucks.
